Dr. Craig Mobey
Deep down, we are usually painfully aware of who we are and what we have done.
It’s sometimes hard to make peace with many things from our past; in fact, it might feel like they are an anchor holding one back. With this in mind, let us remind one another that in Christ, we are forgiven, as we briefly touch base on:
- Suppressing guilt.
- Freedom from sin and guilty feelings.
- Grieving/quenching the Holy Spirit.
- Must I forgive others to be forgiven?
- Self-forgiveness (conclusion).
Scripture reading: Psalm 51:1-4 (all Scripture readings are from the NIV)
1 For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.
Introduction
As the Scripture says, David committed adultery and he is confessing his sin to the Lord. Note how, when he approaches God, he describes some of God’s attributes: merciful, loving, and compassionate. I do not detect fear and hiding. David says that in committing adultery, he sinned against God. He does not try and self-justify or suppress his guilt before God.
David is painfully aware of what he has done wrong and openly expresses his desire for the Lord to cleanse him. It brings to mind Matthew 26:28, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”
Suppressing guilt
A big mistake, in my opinion, would be to suppress feelings of guilt. Suppressing feelings of guilt can on the one hand be the ultimate pretence that we have done nothing wrong and on the other hand, a form of pride which is in opposition to humbleness.
Most disturbingly though, suppressing feelings of guilt might be an unsuccessful attempt to quieten the prompting and guiding of the Holy Spirit. Guilt should guide us to Christ, repentance and consequently, the desire to live out the fruit of our salvation.
I am reminded of 1 Timothy 1:15-16, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.”
Freedom from sin and guilty feelings
Being forgiven is not the same as the removal of feelings of guilt. The former is a fact that stands through all eternity and the latter is a feeling, which is subject to change. Focussing on forgiveness draws us to Christ and focusing on guilt after forgiveness can lead to “stuckness” since Christ is in this instance, not one’s primary focus.
To get stuck recalling and living in the memories of your past is pointless. 2 Corinthians 5:17 reads, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” It is true that we will still sin. It is also true that despite the ongoing sin, God promises ongoing forgiveness. We will do well to remember 1 John 2:1, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”
Quenching/grieving the Holy Spirit?
1 Thessalonians 5:19 reads, “Do not quench the Spirit.” Understand that God the Holy Spirit, resident in every believer, also has a personality and, therefore, He can be grieved.
Grieving and quenching are emotion-driven and when we quench the Holy Spirit, we suppress the working of the Holy Spirit through us by living like pagans, lying, anger etc.
In other words, instead of pointing others toward Christ as a living witness for Him, we point instead move toward and highlight our worldly desires and living. Therefore, the Holy Spirit revealed through us is quenched which is grievous because it is sinful. And therefore, forgivable.
Hardened hearts do not worry about quenching/grieving the Holy Spirit. Hardened hearts do not feel guilt like a heart softened by the Holy Spirit.
If you feel unforgivable because of a sin that you keep repeating or an undesirable pattern, what you feel may be the Holy Spirit working to soften your heart and point you toward Christ and forgiveness.
Don’t delay, Hebrews 3:7-8 reads, “So, as the Holy Spirit says: ‘Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness.’”
Must I forgive others to be forgiven?
Our forgiveness does not depend on our forgiving others. If it were so, we would not need Jesus.
Matthew 6:14-15 reads, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”
Taken without context, it appears that we earn God’s forgiveness once we have forgiven others.
When Jesus said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,” He said it in/under the Old Testament – although written in Matthew 6. In the New Testament, we forgive others because we have been forgiven, which is only truly possible because of Jesus’ death: His blood, His loss of life; the payment for sin.
Our receiving forgiveness is not dependent upon us forgiving others. Our relationship with God is based on grace, not works. The reason we forgive people under the New Covenant is that we want to please God and because forgiving those who hurt us is beneficial to all parties, and to living the Christian life as a witness (c.f. Acts 1:8).
Read Titus 3:5, “he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,”
Conclusion
The concept of self-forgiveness is quite interesting in that all sin is toward God (c.f. Psalm 51:4 & Genesis 39:9). Every one of us has sinned (Romans 3:23), and one of the results of sin is guilt.
Self-forgiveness is not easy. The parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35) is insightful. The master forgave the debt of one of his servants and that servant went to another and demanded from him, payment of a smaller debt. Listen to the master’s words (verses 32-33), “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”
Shouldn’t you have mercy on yourself just as God has mercy on you?
It is fair to say that forgiving yourself, ultimately, comes from a better understanding of God’s forgiveness.
If you are feeling unforgivable or unforgiven, there is hope for you in Jesus Christ. Prayerfully turn to Him and repent.
Amen.